Bad days

There is no light without dark, no yin without yang, no up without down. So many times in our quest for bigger, better, faster, more we lose sight of the necessity of darkness, of down times, of the introspection that is invited by ‘bad’ days. However, just as Persephone needed to voyage into her underworld for a time, so too do we need to go inside, become quiet, and take stock of where we are in life and in the world. And, because it is often frustrating to be in a ‘down’ time when our usual desire is to be up, higher, lighter, freer, I have put together below some tools that can help you make the most of the opportunities present for you in those darker moments...

1. Today’s circumstances are yesterday’s “What’s next?”
Many times, we send out messages to the Universe and don’t even realize we’re doing it. Take a look at what is present for you now, for example. Is it that work has slowed down, leaving you ‘too much free time’? What is it that you asked for that would create this? Sometimes, we clearly put out the message that we want a break, we need some down time, we need to just stop moving so fast for a while. When that is what we’re asking for, or what we’re declaring to the world in our kvetching or in our conversations with friends, it isn’t surprising that work slows down, clients stop calling and we receive the gift of being able to just stop moving so fast for a while. Take a close look at your words, your conversations of the recent past and figure out what it is that you have asked for. Too much work and not enough free time? Perhaps you prayed for success, for an increase in income or for better knowledge of how things work in your company. If you dig a bit, there is usually some great gift in the situation in which you find yourself- a gift you happened to ask for! The goal, then, is to be very specific with what it is you ask for, and to be explicit in what you declare to the world.

2. It’s always darkest before the dawn.
For years, this phrase aggravated me, as it appeared to be trite and cliché and was often used as a palliative that offered no real help if you were in the pit of frustration with your circumstances. However, if you look at the cyclical nature of all things, it is actually true that it is darkest just before the dawn. Before the sun is makes its way over towards our little corner of the Earth, it is dark. Really dark. Yet, even in the depths of the darkness, there is the comfort is that the sun is coming to warm us and to light our way. The sun will be up in the East, as scheduled, every single day. That’s a really nice metaphor for life, because just as the world cannot stay dark forever (the sun will come up tomorrow…) our lives and our life circumstances cannot stay dark forever. And, the beauty of this is that the sun is on a specific schedule for when it rises and when it sets. The sun, presumably, has no independent control over when it will rise or set. We, on the other hand, have total control of our ability to rise or fall, and in each and every single moment we can choose differently if we don’t like the results that our past choices have gotten us. Rise and shine!

3. Take stock.
Just as every shop owner knows, it is imperative to take inventory regularly. Times of slowing down, of turning inward, are wonderful opportunities to do just that. What is it that you have in your life that serves you, and how does it serve you? What is it that you don’t have in your life that you’d like to have on your store shelves? This is a good time to take a good look around, figure out where it is that you stand in relation to where it is you would like to be standing. If your goal, to use the shop owner example, is to have a store filled with fine linens, beautiful tea sets and china dolls, yet you look around and all you see is hunting equipment and fly-fishing reels, you know you’ve got some re-ordering to do! (This is a good time to revisit #1 above and to get clear on what it is you’ve been asking for from the Universe.) So, take this time to take inventory, take stock of what you have and what you don’t. And be sure to look at everything that is present in your life right now and ask yourself: How is this serving me? Invariably, if something is present in your life, it is serving you somehow.

That’s it for today. Wishing you a beautiful journey and the ability to enjoy each moment~

Counting Blessings,
Cynthia

Slowing Down

One of the most beautiful gifts of leaving the private practice of law has been the ability to slow down a bit. With the perspective that comes from having put distance between myself and that lifestyle (or that lifestyle as I was living it) I have been able to see how fast I can get in my daily routines, my conversations and my activities- never mind what happens to my thoughts- when I am stressed out. And, I believe I have been in good company with this pattern- most of the people I see these days are running from pillar to post and are losing their heads in the race (not to mention centeredness, grounding and alignment).

We have been socialized to believe that more is better in all realms and on all levels, and to that end we have been pushing, pushing, pushing ourselves to the breaking point. It is no wonder that we are seeing the highest levels of hypothyroidism in history- we’re burning ourselves out! And this is just the beginning. This constant push, constant racing around and constant striving for that next brass ring exhausts us physically, mentally, emotionally and energetically. So, what do we do?

We slow down a bit. We take breaks. We honor our body’s needs. We start paying attention to that inner guidance (Psst! It’s in your heart, not your head!). We actively seek a lifestyle that will work to support us, to nourish and nurture us. We cast aside the belief that we need to measure up to someone else’s standards (standards we’re killing ourselves in order to meet), and we stand in our own power, our own alignment. We declare that we will take care of ourselves from now on, and that we are as important as all 500 of the other things on our to-do lists. We put ourselves first because, without us, there is no one checking off those to-do list items anyway. And finally, we re-evaluate our values, our goals and our direction in life. It’s time to take a closer look at the way we’re living, my friends. And I humbly invite you into that inquiry now.

Some questions for consideration:

1) What do I get from racing through my life? Why do I move so fast?
2) What am I missing when I move through life at the speed of light?
3) Where is the middle ground?

Enjoy your journey inward and feel free to drop me a note anytime with ideas, stories or questions, or if you would like some help along the way.

To Your Bliss,

Cynthia

Human Sustainability

Greetings!

Wow! Things sure have been busy here at CDB Personal Development Int'l!! I have been to Amsterdam, Boulder, Phoenix, California and Canada all in the last few months, and I am feeling like taking a little break. And, as it usually happens, this feeling leads me to a new post, a new blog, a new idea I want to share with you. Today, this idea is human sustainability.

If you take a quick glance at our world from the macrocosm right on down to the microcosm, you will likely notice a common theme of change, transformation, and even uncertainty. From the upheaval of our world markets to global warming, soil depletion and species extinction, there is a lot going on out there in the macrocosm that can be very unsettling (never mind that Pluto isn't even a planet anymore)! And when you look at the microcosm, there are the issues of personal finance and whether you can pay your mortgage in this economy, how you keep the kids active during the summer months, and whether you'll keep your current job, find a new one or perhaps even go after your (long awaited) dreams. Add in a lack of sleep one night or a missed call/meeting/appointment, and our stress levels can go through the roof! Given all of the different things we have to be concerned about, it's a wonder some days that we're functioning at all!

Which is why I am moved to discuss with you the idea of Human Sustainability. What is it that is going to sustain you through these uncertain and stressful times? What is going to nourish your spirit, support your body, nurture your heart? Well, I have three simple ideas for you to consider, that once implemented in your life, will help you move forward in a manner that is less stressed, more open, and certainly more sustainable. Here they are...

1. Know the difference between service and sacrifice.
Sounds simple, but many of us get this confused. Are you being of service, or are you sacrificing yourself? A simple way to determine whether you are in service or in sacrifice is how you feel when you're doing whatever it is you're doing. Are you grateful, and happy and do you feel full and empowered? Usually a good sign that you're being of service. Do you feel pissy and resentful and depleted? Pay attention, because you might be sacrificing yourself! Remember the following: Service is how I take care of you without losing me in the process.

2. Create a daily practice.
When you have a daily practice, a daily time for you to connect with yourself, you have the space to love, nurture and support yourself. Many of my clients feel they have no time for themselves, and it creates resentment, feelings of overwhelm and depletion, and stress. By taking some time every day for yourself, you are giving back to yourself, and thus filling that well of energy from which you always draw.

3. Pay attention to how you show up in the world.
Many times, we sabotage ourselves without even realizing it by the way we use language, the way we physically move through the world, and the way we latch onto a mood that may not be all that beneficial for us. By paying close attention to our language, our bodies, and our emotions, we can get a really good picture of what it is that is causing our suffering, and how to move through it to the success on the other side!

To Sustainability,

Cynthia